2/3 of the way through this @!#)&$ Cubs season…

Holy shitsnacks…

One-third of the way through the 2011 regular season, the Cubs were on pace to finish with a 69-93 record. Now two-thirds done, they’re on pace to finish with a 66-96 record which, if the Astros were to continue their abysmal play, would give the Cubs the second-worst record in all of baseball. The Cubs don’t even suck enough to get the #1 overall draft pick, for fuck’s sake.

Among all Major League teams, the Cubs are ranked 18th in runs, 8th in batting average (Don’t be fooled by that ranking; they’re 21st in both on-base percentage and average with runners in scoring position), and 12th in slugging percentage. Their pitching has been even worse. They’re bottom 5 in all of baseball in ERA, quality starts, WHIP and batting average against. I’d list more statistical rankings, but a person can only vomit so much.

Apparently, Kosuke Fukudome has been traded to the Cleveland Indians for some loose pocket change and a few pairs of shoestrings. I’m assuming Big Z won’t be moved because…well…the 29 other GMs in baseball aren’t that desperate or stupid, even the Yankees Cashman. Pena should be moved NOW, but I feel he won’t be. ARam has decided that he wants to actually rake (the power of MONAY!!!), there’s “Casual Castro”, the overachieving (?) Barney, always-fooled Byrd, erratic Marmol, blistered Wood, Dumpster, so-so Soto, the quizzical moves of Quade, rookie pitching coach Riggins, and joke of a hitting coach in Jaramillo. Hendry? Get him the hell out of here. 2003, 2007 and 2008 shouldn’t even be mentioned anymore. The Ricketts are rich ass Cubs fans and don’t appear to have great baseball minds so far. Cubs fans still annoy me for the most part as well as writers and bloggers for the team. As if things aren’t bad enough, Twitter has made my disdain for those three groups even greater.

Supposedly the Cubs will pursue Pujols, Prince and maybe even Reyes in the offseason. Maybe they want to get better? I don’t know, I can only assume. If I’m one of those three though, I wouldn’t even answer Hendry’s call. Sorry, but Starlin’s promising future isn’t enough to land an elite free agent. Derrick Rose-status, he does not have. Actually, the more I think about the Cubs future, the more disheartened I become. Wait. I’ve read a lot of slurping of prospects Brett Jackson and Trey McNutt, so I guess Cubs fans are trying to find solace in something. Things can only get better, right? Seriously, stop laughing at that question.

Jeebus, I can’t believe there’s still one-third of this @!#)&$ Cubs season left…

The Cubs suck.

Go Pirates.

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